A battered-up Shnoozy declined to comment on tonight’s horrendous attacks. What started out, innocently enough, as a nothing-out-of-the-ordinary-exciting-night-activity, abruptly ended with a barrage of water-balloons from Gan Izzy’s staff, a sure sign of their discontentment with Shnoozy’s performance. The staff took this a step further, and continued on to force him out of his position as Director of Night-Activity. The ousted Director sat forlornly in the shadows, after disgracefully being lead away, following his attempts at overtaking Matcho-Pillow, the newly-inaugurated replacement. Despite shouts of, “We want Shnoozy!” and, “No! Don’t take Shnoozy away!” the Anti-Shnoozy League prevailed, declaring Shnoozy’s position as Director of Night-Activity at Gan Yisroel, a thing of the past. Evidence leads experts to believe in existence of mystery suspect who may have instigated the attacks, and may still be on the loose.
Parksville, NY